Allison is really angry

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“You forgot me last night; you didn’t come and study with me. I failed because of you!” shouted Allison crying to her best friend Jenny. She added “You’re so selfish!” “Don’t be ridiculous Allison. I didn’t come because I had to stay late for my volleyball practice.” answered Jenny. She added, “I also called your mom and left a message saying that I couldn’t come. I think you didn’t get the message.” Allison was still angry; she shouted again, “I failed in my Math test because of you! Go away! I don’t want to see you!” Have you ever experienced anything like this?

Have you ever felt angry with one of your close friends or family members? Everybody feels things like this, but the point is to control our feelings, recognize why we feel like this and decide what we can do to overcome this feeling.

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Allison is really angry. If she looked at her feelings, she would realize that she was not angry with her friend but herself. It was her own responsibility to study for the test, not her friends. She didn’t do well on the test and she chose to blame her friend because it was easier to admit that she had messed up. We should think about our feelings sometimes. We might feel depressed just when we’re tired. You may have just slept late last night or you had to wake up earlier than normal. Before putting a label on our feelings, we should look for clues in our lives. Allison thought that she was angry with her friend, but her real feeling was guilt. It’s the first step to recognize your true feelings before you know what to do with them.

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Once you get your honest feelings, you can do something with them. Getting angry or yelling at your friends or your family members is not the solution. It also increases the negative emotions you have and the problem will not be solved. You can learn some communication skills to solve your problems not only for the current ones, but also for your future. First, choose the right time and place to talk and share your honest feelings. Do not try to smooth out the discussion with your sister while she’s working on her school project. You need a time and a place in which both sides can give full attention to the situation. Don’t forget to make eye contact. Ask questions if you don’t understand anything. Don’t interrupt and listen with all of your attention.

Adapted from Readwork’s website