Etiquettes in Different Cultures

If a mistake happened in one’s own culture, they could quickly recover, because they have known the social etiquette required by their own society. However, when gaffes take place across cultures, they can leave you at a loss for what to do and how to respond.

Every traveller fears that they will make mistakes and offend someone completely unintentionally while they’re talking to someone from another culture. The dreadful one is that they are not sure what to do next. In travels, people have accidentally used the ‘wrong hand’ to shake, have made people ‘lose face’ and have even been accused of being bad luck because of the mistakes they’ve made unintentionally. Maybe it was an unintentional violation of personal space or a misreading of the context and cues that resulted in someone losing face. In any case, they’ve violated an unspoken cultural law.

In short, even though people have travel experience, they are bound to commit a cultural faux pas at some point. And while it might be embarrassing, in a diverse world, cultural mistakes are inevitable – but that’s no reason to stay home. Anyway, it’s also not the end of the world.

Here is our suggestion for not only recovering from cultural faux pas but turning them into learning opportunities.

1. Get rid of your obsession.

The problem is that when we obsess over the possibility of making mistakes, psychological tightening occurs and makes it harder to build relationships in the first place. The bottom line is that we should see mistakes as learning opportunities and chances for improvement. Remember that improvement takes time and will probably involve making mistakes along way.

2. Prepare yourself with knowledge.

Cultural faux pas often happen in the flow of everyday life in a new culture, but they can also occur in situations such as an interview or a public speaking opportunity. In these cases, you have more than enough time and resources to prepare yourself by learning the cultural norms. Look into what verbal and body language people use when faux pas happens. Don’t forget that most cultures don’t have one-size-fitsall rules for reacting to mistakes, and context is key. Observe how people in the culture behave.

3. When you make a mistake, keep your cool.

Before reacting, take a breath and remember your preparations. First, assess what kind of mistake you’ve made and whether damage control is necessary. Some gaffes are amusing, whereas others require an apology. If you have established a bond with the people involved, it will be that much easier for them to ignore, dismiss or forgive it.

4. Get feedback.

Provide feedback from those you are already building relationships with. It’s also ideal if you can get feedback as soon as you commit a faux pas — and here is where your self-reflection work comes in. If you’re in an encounter with someone you haven’t built a relationship with yet, you can also lean on your own foreignness, rather than covering it up. This tactic can be especially useful if people can’t tell that you are from a different culture and therefore might not be giving you the benefit of the doubt. Once they know that you’re a cultural outsider, they may slow down, show or tell you what would work better, or even smile or laugh. In the end, no one wants to commit cultural mistakes, but they are the very best way to learn.

Adapted from the Harvard Business Review and Muse websites