FUNNY CRIME STORIES

Story 1

This is a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping. When she returned to her car, she found four men trying to leave with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, and started to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"

The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shocked, then started to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shocked that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of soda in the front seat. It wasn’t her car!

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. She told the story to a police officer who couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the desk, where four men were reporting a car-jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. The moral of the story? If you're going to have a crazy moment ... make it memorable.

Story 2

A thief broke into a house but did not plan his crime very well. He entered the house and quickly unhooked and removed two television sets, a VCR player, and some stereo equipment. Then, he remembered that he had come on foot and had no way of getting things he stole back to his apartment. He had worked hard to steal all that stuff and didn't want to leave them behind, so he called a taxi. He stacked all the equipment on the sidewalk, sat down, and waited for the taxi to arrive. When the taxi arrived, the driver helped the man load all of the equipment into the trunk. The thief jumped in and gave the driver his address. The driver thought the situation was a bit strange, so he called the police. The cops arrived at the thief’s house and immediately arrested him.

Story 3

A janitor at Edwards Elementary School stole one of the school's refrigerators and took it home. When she got home, she discovered the refrigerator wasn't working. She called a repairman to fix it, but not just any repairman. She called the repairman that was working for the school. The repairman came to her house and recognized the refrigerator. He told the woman that he knew she had stolen the fridge but she did not offer the man ‘hush’ money to keep it a secret. She didn't even offer him money for fixing the fridge. The repairman called the police and the woman was arrested and fired from her job.