The Three Kinds of Friendships

How many friends do you have? Are they your friends? Is it possible that your friends are using you for utility or pleasure? If you have never thought about these questions, then you really should. Aristotle certainly did. Friendship, Aristotle tells us, is very important. Moreover, it is essential to our happiness.

As the philosopher says, “No one would choose to live a friendless existence, even on the condition of having all other good things.” Yes, friendship was really important for Aristotle. And some 25 centuries ago, this great ancient Greek philosopher said that there are three types of friendships:

a)  Friendships of utility: Some friends seldom meet, except when they need something. And usually, it’s once a year. These people are on friendly terms mainly due to the benefits each brings to the table. Business partners, colleagues, and schoolmates fit into this category.

b)  Friendships of pleasure: The glue of this kind of friendship is shared enjoyment. Think of fishing buddies, or exercise buddies, or golf buddies. You and your friend share a common interest or pleasure, and that’s where your friendship is rooted. When you lose interest in that common pleasure, the friendship ends.

c)  Friendships of the good: This is the highest form of friendship, according to Aristotle. It is based on mutual respect and love. For example, a good friend is genuinely happy to see you get married or get a promotion. Aristotle says that these friendships are the rarest of all. After all, true friends take time to know each other.