What Makes a Good Friend?

On December 25th, 2010, a British woman posted a suicide note on Facebook. Her message was a desperate cry for attention. The woman in question had over one thousand “friends” on Facebook; however, no one came to help or stop her. Her body was found by police a day later. She had overdosed on prescription medication.

These days, modern technology gives us the ability to make an unlimited amount of social network “friends” just by recording their names in our list of phone contacts. Whenever we decide that we no longer need one of these “friendships,” all we have to do is delete that “friend’s” name from our social networking account. However, the tragic incident of the woman in Britain shows a harsh reality: many don’t have true friends! So what do you look for in a friend? How can you be a good friend? What does it take to have a lasting friendship? Here are four principles that make a good friend:

Show That You Really Care: True friendship involves commitment. In other words, a real friend knows that they have a sense of responsibility for your well-being. A real friend cares deeply for you. Without doubt, this level of commitment goes both ways, and it involves months or years of work and sacrifice from both parties. However, the benefits are well worth all the effort. Ask yourself, ‘Am I willing to give of myself, my time, and my resources for my friend?’

Be A Good Communicator: A true friendship cannot develop without regular communication. So talk together about your interests. Listen to what your friend says, and respect her opinions. On occasion, your friends may be in need of some advice or even a stern talking to, and the ability to do that without causing damage to your friendship will not always be the easiest thing to do. However, a loyal friend will have the courage to point out a serious fault and offer guidance.

Have Realistic Expectations: The closer we are with our friends, the more evident their faults and flaws become. Our friends are not perfect, but neither are we. Therefore, we should never expect perfection from our friends. Rather, it is good to accept them with their flaws.

Widen Your Circle of Friends: True, we need to be selective about choosing friends. But that does not mean narrowing our choice of friends to those of a certain age or upbringing. Being interested in people from all age groups, ethnic backgrounds, and nationalities are one of the most enriching things we can do.